Keep Swimming...

Sometimes I think that life will get easier...HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I'm not complaining, I'm just speaking the truth, maybe it's that I WISH life would get easier. I'm not talking about the divorce, or being on my own, just LIFE. There is always something isn't there? From being sick, to being behind on bills, to a flat tire, to a broken down car all together. LIFE...BUT...Then I take a minute and breathe, and sit down on the floor with my daughter, and it all seems okay. Children are little miracles. My Makayla is doing so many new and crazy things. Last week I was vacuuming, I realized I didn't know where she was, and I shut off the vacuum and called for her. I looked and looked. Then I looked down the stairs, where the front door was open, and she wasn't in sight. I bolted down the stairs, and ran outside, where she was, in the street, in the rain, laughing. Seriously? HEART ATTACK!! Needless to say I am a freak about locking the door these days. Makayla will do anything with shoes, and "pretties". She LOVES to play with my jewelry, and her bows. She LOVES her little tent in her room and hides out in there quite a bit with her shoes. Makayla is truly a ham and will do anything for attention. She still loves music, and loves to dance her heart out! I have one girlie girl on my hands! It's her, these little things, that keep me going. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to give up. But she is my driving force. I am determined to be that mom that makes it. Hopefully one that she will look up to.
As far as the whole dating single life, as I am sure you all wonder what it must be like. As you would think, it sucks. There has been more heart ache, more sad days, more times I've wanted to punch yet another man in the face. HARD. BUT...I KNOW that one day, I will find it again. It will happen and it will be amazing. I always tell myself, it's better to put myself out there again and try than to be alone for the rest of my life. Breaks are good here and there as well!
All in all, I would say that my life is going well. It amazes me that I am STILL trying to find that balance, that normalcy that I crave so much. It will come, and I know that time is all I need. Until then, I can't help but think of Dori. JUST KEEP SWIMMING...