PEACE AMONG CHAOS

Well time for another update on my haps...my amazing blessed haps. Oh what blessings that have come my way!!!! It's amazing what the Lord has to offer in this life, if we only take the time to reach out and try. So many questions have been answered, without doubt. So many lessons along the way, ones that I will cherish, and some I may regret, but, nonetheless, I am grateful! Makayla is walking everywhere, she babbles very matter-of-factly at anything or anyone. She yells at me when she is upset, and she is now singing with me in the car. She continues to dance her heart out to any music, and giggles and smiles 90% of the time. My little girl is truly the best baby in the world! My new job will start on March 15th, and I can't begin to tell you how excited, nervous, terrified, antsy, scatter-brained, and stressed I have been about this new journey. One I feared the most after the big split. The "working single mom". I used to literally nearly throw up at the thought, because I watched MY mom go through SO much while just trying to keep us afloat. I remember how hard she had to work, and how tired she was, I just pray I am able to keep my life stable, and my heart in the right place. I never want to be ornery or angry for no reason. You know those mom's you hear in the store who literally do nothing but yell at their kids? If I EVER do that, somebody slap me! Although lately my life has been a smidge chaotic, the peace that has settled in is overwhelming. The love I feel for myself and my daughter has changed so many things, and made me so much happier. The light and love of the Savior I feel as I do my service is comparible to nothing, and I have THE biggest testimony of the church's welfare system. Without it, I would have lost everything. The love you feel from the Missionaries at the Bishop's Storehouse is amazing. The Sister who helped me yesterday looked into my eyes, and told me of her daughter who went through a divorce, and how hard it was for her. They understand our heartache, they are there to help. It is their calling, and I know without a doubt that each one there is aware of our struggles. There are people of every type at the Storehouse, people who look like me and you. We have ALL gone through it, and there is absolutely NO other church on this earth who comes together and makes sure that everyone is provided for. How amazing is that? The Bishop asked me during our last meeting when I had felt the most spiritual in my life (using his ever so famous scale of 1-10). How incredible that my answer was literally right after Dan left? I remember literally crying so hard in my closet, that I thought I would pass out, yet I remembered somehow to think about Christ in the Garden, with blood coming out of his pores, and I remember thinking, how on earth could he have felt MORE pain than this? How could any person feel MORE pain than this? He did. And I can't imagine what that felt like. I am so grateful for my foundation, my family, and the love I have felt lately. I have had one too many miracles in this life from my Heavenly Father to ever deny him. Things I truly believed were impossible have been made possible and shown to me that they are possible. Peace CAN come among chaos!